I Like Your Nose
by TheHalfBloodVulcan
Summary: Slash, RimmerxOC... Dexter Peregrin Took is the stuttering human guinea pig for the new FLSO project, but not all goes to plan as he ends up teleporting to the Red Dwarf.  Explained-ish AU Rimmer.
1. Chapter 1

Dexter Peregrin Took was always a smart guy. He was a straight A student and graduated Medical School at the age of 23, three years before all of the other interns in his class. He often annoyed everyone around him because he had a love of grammar, and would correct any mistakes that people made at convenient or inconvient times. And he was almost as gay as they come.  
>As well as being a doctor, Dexter also researched with the FLSO, the Flint Lockwood Space Organisation. Their latest project was to find any spacecrafts lost beyond 100,000 light years of Earth. And Dexter was their human guinea pig.<br>He strapped the electrical wires around his arm and fastened the teleportation belt until it was uncomfortably tight. Two scientists checked all the equipment three times over and made a thumbs-up sign at the people behind the glass window of the chamber.

"Alright, Took. Teleportation is set to occur in one minute and counting. Good luck."

"Th-thanks, sir."

My breathing started becoming faster, I may have been a genius, but this was the most risky thing I'd ever done, and I was extremely nervous. Not that I didn't have confidence in the project, but when you're about to be experimentally teleported 100,000 light years into space to find spacecrafts that have been lost for who knows how long, it really gets to your head.

"Okay, Took. Teleportation in 5, 4, 3, 2,"

I opened my eyes. Everything was black. I felt weightless and then like I was being pulled at an enormous speed by my waist. This time when I opened my eyes I was falling a few metres to a rather dirty floor.

I groaned and got up. "Aww, blast it!", I picked up my glasses that had fallen off and then the little pieces of broken machinery from my belt. "Well, at least it worked, but I'm g-going to have to fix this."

I got up and looked around. It looked like it was just a pointless deck of a ship. I heard footsteps coming from above but stayed calm. I didn't have any weapons so I didn't pose a threat, so what could they do to me?  
>Instead of getting panicky, I strolled over to the only window in the room and looked out. All I could see were stars, nothing else, except blackness of course.<p>

"Oi! You!", said a man with a strong Liverpudlian accent.

"Yes?"  
>"How did you get here?"<p>

"I used this.", I dropped my glasses again then pointed to my belt, "But it broke when I landed. It's a teleportation device."

"Are you from Earth?"

"Yes. B-born and raised in Newcastle, England. By the sounds of it, you're f-from Liverpool."

"Yeah. You don't have a Geordie accent, mind."

"I know. I didn't have a strong one to begin w-with, and then I moved to London and c-completely lost it."

"Alright... well, I'm going to have to take you up to the rest of the crew."  
>"Okay. I'm Took, by the way, Dexter P-Peregrin Took."<p>

"I'm Lister."

We climbed four sets of stairs before I could here talking. It sounded like whoever it was was complaining about how his collar didn't stand out enough in contrast with his red suit.

"Look what I found on the loading deck.", he gestured towards me.

I looked around nervously, trying not to meet the eyes of the two people who I knew were looking me up and down, judging me by my white shirt, bow tie, black trousers and, I have to admit, pretty nerdy hair.

The one with the green trousers and light green shirt stood up first and stuck his hand out. "I'm Rimmer, and what is your name?"

I met his hand with mine and shuck it nervously, "I'm T-Took, Dexter Peregrin Took."

"Nice to meet you Took." He smiled. "This here is Cat, I wouldn't think judging by your appearance and shy personality that you're going to be best of friends with him, but I'm sure you will get along fine."

I nodded once at Cat who stood up and shuck my hand in response, "Listen," He put his arm around my shoulder, "if you ever get sick of, let's be honest here, those dreary, boring clothes, come and see me, and I'll fix you up with something stylish." He chuckled and brushed his suit with his hand.

"Thank you, but I don't think 'stylish' is who I am. I'd m-much prefer these trousers and a p-plain shirt to something you're wearing." I smiled shyly and looked up, catching Rimmer staring right at me.

I raised my eyebrow at him before he realised, shaking his head and looking away. I smiled.

"Right, sirs. I've changed the bulb back to the white one, and I've put the red one in the drawer." He looked at me, confused, "Who is this?"

"This is Dexter Peregrin Took. Lister found him on the loading deck.", Rimmer said, trying to avoid eye contact with me.

"How did he get here?"

"I used a teleportation d-device." I pointed to my belt again, "But it broke."

"Well. It's a pleasure, Mr Took."

"Actually, it's Dr Took. And nice to m-meet you too..."

"Kryten, sir. My name is Kryten."

Suddenly there were alarms and red flashing light everywhere.

"Damn, that's the air seal on floor 2 again. Someone needs to come with me."

"I'll go... I mean... if you want."

"Whatever. Come on then."

I followed Lister down to floor 2 where I stood watching him find out what was wrong.

"Smeg. Quite a lot of it's broken."

"You say smeg too?"

"Yeah...Wait. You say smeg?"

"Yes. I've never met anyone else that says smeg. Everyone at home says 'damn' or 'darn'."

"That's weird. Everyone here says smeg."

"Hmm..."

I stood thinking for a few minutes before Lister interrupted my thoughts.

"Can you go up to Rimmer and ask him for this stuff?" He started to write a list of things on a ripped piece of paper..

"Yes, certainly."

He laughed, "You and Rimmer sound so much alike. Here you go."

"R-really? Okay then..."

I rushed up the flights of stairs while reading the list. He had made so many spelling mistakes it was unbelievable. I got out my pen and corrected every single mistake.

I got to Rimmer out of breath and handed him the list.  
>His breath seemed to catch in his throat.<p>

"Are you okay?"

"Yes... yes I'm fine. Did you correct all of Lister's mistakes?"

I blushed and shuffled, embarrassed, "Yes, I can't s-stand grammatical errors."

"Me neither. Infact I'm usually the one to correct Lister's writing."

"Oh, sorry I-"

"No, no. It's fine. I like that someone else cares about it.", he laughed awkwardly, "Err... Oh yes! I'll go and get these things."

"Okay." I smiled nervously and watched him leave. I suppose we did have a lot in common. I wonder if he's gay...

"Here you go!"

"Thank you. Oh, this means I'll have to r-run back down there again." I sighed.

"I can take them if you want." Rimmer said, avoiding eye contact again and shuffling his feet.

"Err... we could go together?"

"Excellent idea! I mean err... yes, that's a good idea. But it still means you'll have to go down there again."

"It doesn't matter, I'll have c-company."

I followed Rimmer down this time and couldn't stop staring at the back of his head. Maybe I was falling for him. He seemed nervous around me too, but I don't know if he's gay. Why is everything so complicated?

"I like your n-nose." I facepalmed, why did that slip out of my mouth?

"What? My...nose?"

"I have a thing for noses." I was still shaking my head in disbelief.

"Really? Who's noses do you like then?"

"Let's see... Stephen Fry's, Matt Damon's, Antonio Banderas'. And a l-lot of others I can't think of r-right now."

"So what is it about my nose?"

"I'm not sure. I just like it."

"Thanks, I guess.", he looked nervous, "I like your stutter."

"Really? I've heard it g-gets on people's nerves."

"I don't see why. It's..."

"It's...?", I pressed.

"Nothing." He blushed.

We finally reached floor 2

"Here you go, Lister." I said. He didn't look up at me, he just grabbed the box in my hand. "You're w-welcome then."

"What? Oh yeah... thanks."

"Don't mind him." Rimmer shot an evil look at Lister, "When he's busy he ignores people completely, and then when he's not, he expects all the attention."

"Hey man, I can still hear you, y'know."

"Yes Lister, I know."

I chuckled and gestured for Rimmer to go up the steps first.

"So, Dexter, I mean Took, I mean... what do you want to be called?"

"Just Dexter's fine. Or Took, whatever m-makes you happy. Some people called me Pippin at school, because of my middle n-name. I don't mind if you call me that either."

"Pippin sounds like a name only people close to you would call you though."

"Well... we could get close..."

He went red and seemed to stand up straighter.

"I've got to go." He ran out the door.

Lister came back in, "What was all that about?"

"I don't know, we were just t-talking and he had to leave."

"He's a weird one, he is."

"That's why I like him." I muttered under my breath.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."  
>~~~~~<p>

I sat alone for what must have been about twenty minutes before Rimmer came back.

"Hello.", he said.

"Hello.", I smiled.

He sat on the chair opposite mine. An awkward silence followed.

"So what exactly do you do for a living?"

"Well I graduated Medical School early, so I'm a fully-qualified doctor. But I also work for the Flint Lockwood Space Organisation, the people that sent me here."

"That's marvelous." He stared at me with his mouth open.

"I'm glad you think so."

"I would love to do something like that with my life, but I've been stuck on this bloody ship for who knows how long."

"And it's looking probable that there'll be an additional crew member for a while."

"I hope so. Not that I'm saying it's good that you're stuck here! I just... like your company. All the others don't have, let's say 'the brains' to have a decent conversation with."

We laughed and continued our decent conversation for what seemed like hours before Rimmer said goodnight and headed off to bed.  
>Lister then came in to find me sitting by myself again.<p>

"Hey it's late. All of us will be going to bed soon, we've got a spare room with a bed, but none of us sleep in it 'cause there's vents that blows out old air all the time."

"That's fine. You may be used to the w-warm temperature of the Red Dwarf, but a few hours ago, I was in England. I think I'll be used t-to the cold. ", I was too tired to comment on his grammar.

He laughed, "Alright then, come on."

"Here it is. You'll need new clothes for tomorrow, won't you?"

"Well, I could j-just make do with these."

"You could borrow some of Rimmer's, you'll probably fit and prefer his clothes over mine or Cat's."

My heart fluttered and the thought of wearing his clothes, "Yeah, that's fine."

"We'll get them now so they're ready for the morning."

I followed him up to his and Rimmer's room.

"Hey Rimmer," Rimmer jumped and quickly put some boxers on, I blushed, "Can Dexter borrow some of your clothes?"

"Yes, certainly."

Lister went over to his drawers and pulled out a pair of trousers, a shirt and boxers, "I told you you sounded like him, that's what you said earlier, remember?"

"Yeah." I coughed at the realisation that Rimmer and I were pretty similar. Yet I was shy and had been told that he was quite arrogant most of the time.

"Here you go."

"Thanks."

He leant towards me and whispered, "He's not usually like this, you know. He's usually an annoying smeghead, but ever since you arrived, he's been quite quiet and well, not a smeghead."

I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say anyway. I just smiled and walked out of the room, but then popped my head round the corner and said "N-night Rimmer! And Lister."

"Night Pi- I mean Dexter."  
> <p>


	2. Chapter 2

I couldn't sleep all of that night, so when my alarm went off at 7 I was unbelievably tired, but I still felt obliged to stick to my morning routine of a 10 minute run and 2 glasses of water.

I changed into Rimmer's clothes I borrowed, which gave me a fuzzy feeling, and went to the bathroom to get some water.

I tip-toed past Rimmer's room, not wanting to wake him or Lister and jogged around the lower decks, humming to myself. I turned a corner and found myself falling on top of someone.

"Smeg!", we shouted at the same time.

My head stopped spinning and I saw a surprised Rimmer beneath me. I stayed confused for another few seconds before standing up.

"I'm so s-sorry." I took his hand and helped him up, "Did I hurt you? Are you oka-"

"I'm fine, Dexter. Really it's okay."

He'd gone slightly red.

"Good good. What are you d-doing up this early?"

"I err, I get up at seven every morning and jog, it keeps me fit since I do nothing else on this ship. What are you doing up so early?"

"I... g-get up at seven every morning and jog... because I w-want to keep fit.", I looked down at my feet, feeling an odd sense of pleasure knowing another thing we had in common.

"Ah. Well. I err, honestly don't know what to say. My mind has went blank."

He turned a darker shade of red.

"Mine too." I started to walk off.

"Where are you going?"

"I n-need to go have my second glass of water."

His breath caught in his throat again and he almost choked.

I patted his back, "Let me guess. You need to go and have your second g-glass of water too?"

He nodded.

That day I spent getting to know about Rimmer's past. I told him some of my science/maths related jokes and we laughed hysterically while Lister and Cat stared at us like we were from a different planet. They obviously didn't get the jokes.

I then talked to Lister about Rimmer, but all he seemed to talk about was Rimmer's inability to attract anything, which I knew quite well not to be true. Then I spent more time with Rimmer, he wanted to give me a tour around the ship as he hadn't when I first arrived. And before I knew it, it was time to say goodnight again.

The next day was pretty much the same. It must get boring for them, especially having no one else but the four of them here.

I spent that day with Rimmer again, apart from the half an hour when Cat tried to dress me in "nice clothes", because I'd been wearing Rimmer's "bland and discusting" ones all the time.

Rimmer thankfully interupted this session and we got back to talking.  
>Another day passed and I was getting impatient. I had not yet started working on fixing my belt and I wanted to tell Rimmer how I felt so badly. I suppose the second one is the cause of the first one, as Rimmer being here is stopping me from wanting to go home.<p>

That night Rimmer, Lister, Cat and I played poker.

"Hey guys, this is getting kind of boring.", Cat complained. "Why don't we spice it up a bit?"

Rimmer and I shared a worried glance.

"What are you suggesting?", said Lister, but we already knew what Cat was going to say.

"Strip poker."

I sat silently, feeling very uncomfortable. I looked at Rimmer, who was trying to avoid eye contact with Cat.

"Well I'm up for it.", Lister stated.

"Took? Rimmer?"

We looked at eachother, silently begging the other to say something first, then he finally gave in.

"Okay, I'll do it.", he put his head in his hands and sighed.

Cat and Lister then turned to face me and I heated up.

"O-o-ok-k-kay.", I cringed at how many times I stuttered but Rimmer just smiled.

"Good! Well let's get started.", Cat smiled, showing off his two pointed teeth.  
>Rimmer had to take something off first, so I laughed. He only took of his shoe though.<p>

After half an hour Lister was shirtless, Cat was trouserless with his shirt still on, I was shirtless too and so was Rimmer.

"Blast!", I lost another round. I got up and pulled down my trousers down, leaving only my boxers. I saw Rimmer blush and then try to hide it.

The next round, Rimmer lost.

"Blast!"

Lister looked at me, signifying again that we talk the same.  
>Rimmer pulled his trousers down, leaving him too with only his underwear.<br>I looked down, slightly smiling and feeling my cheeks heating up and going red.  
>I had decided that strip poker wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I didn't dare play again, unless Rimmer was there... possibly.<p>

Rimmer lost the next game as well, which made my already red cheeks flush more and my heart to pump faster. There was little doubt in my mind that he wouldn't do it, but part of me wondered if he would take off his underwear.

He thought for a few seconds, but then said, "No! No! I refuse to suffer such embarrassment. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to stop playing and put on my clothes."

"I think I'm going to s-stop playing too. It's late and I know I'll lose the next game and I assure you I won't take my b-boxers off."

"Aw man, you guys are a couple of wimps."

"Fine, Cat. Why d-don't you strip for us?"

"Well... I. I don't need to, we've stopped playing."

"But I bet you wouldn't have d-done it if we were still playing and y-you lost."  
>"Don't be ridiculous, of course I would've.", Cat got up and strolled out of the room and headed for his.<p>

I stood up too and headed for the door, "Night Rimmer. Night Lister."

"Night Dex.", they said together.

The next day went faster than all of the others. Me and Rimmer wandered around the ship and talked about anything that came into our heads. Then at night we all gathered in Lister and Rimmer's room again.

"Who's up for truth or dare?", Cat smiled, looking at each of us in turn.

"Yeah man, I'm up for it."

Rimmer looked at me, knowing what they were planning. It was unknown to me, but Lister has noticed a connection between Rimmer and I and had teased him about it. Not seriously, just for fun of course.

I looked away from his gaze and looked at Cat, "Fine, I'll p-play."

Rimmer froze and then sighed. "Fine."

"Great!", Cat said with his usual enthusiasm, "We'll go clockwise and I'll ask Rimmer first."

Rimmer gulped.

"So Rimmer, truth or dare?"

"... Truth."

"Do you like anyone at the moment?"

Rimmer blushed and looked down. "Yes."

Then it was Rimmer's turn to ask me.

"Truth."

Rimmer couldn't resist, "Do you like anyone at the moment?"

"Well, I... I suppose you could say... I m-mean.", I sighed and gave up, "Yes.", I said, trying not to look shy.

He nodded and sighed annoyed into his hands.

"Lister- truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What are your thoughts of Rimmer?"

"He's a complete and utter smeg head who tries too hard to be proud of himself even though he has a burning self hatred and lack of confidence. But he's my friend and I'm not going to get rid of him any time soon."

Rimmer looked like he took this as a compliment, obviously not used to being called a friend, especially by Lister. But the bit about the self hatred got to me. Why would he hate himself enough to not act like himself at all?

"Cat- truth or dare?"

"Dare."

Lister smirked, "I dare you, to kiss Dexter.", then he looked at Rimmer.

Me and Rimmer froze at the same time. Lister knew. Lister knew that I liked Rimmer. Or maybe it was the other way around. Maybe he knew that Rimmer liked me. A warm, tingly feeling filled my stomach, but I forced it out, as I was most likely jumping to conclusions.

Cat looked hesitant, but shook it off and smiled seductively, showing off his fangs. Maybe if I hadn't've met Rimmer I would find this sexy, though Cat wouldn't attract me even there was no Rimmer, but I didn't.

"Prepare for the best kiss you're going to get in your life, baby."

I sat deadly still and looked hopelessly at Rimmer's red face while Cat kissed me, though it was not red with embarrassment this time, but what looked like jealousy.

Thankfully the kiss was fairly short, but Rimmer didn't look at me afterwards.

"Why don't we start going anti-clockwise?", Cat suggested, "Rimmer, do you mind?"

"Not at all.", Rimmer replied, seeming quite happy at not having a turn.

"Good."

"Wait a second guys, I need the toilet."

I splashed my flushed face with cold water, trying to get it at least pink instead of red. When the colour faded a bit, I decided I'd spent too long and headed back to Rimmer's room.

When I came back, Rimmer was sitting in the seat I was before I left. I shrugged and sat in Rimmer's seat.

"Well, Lister- truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Kiss Rimmer. But use your tongue."

Rimmer's eyes shot up at Cat, "You can't be serious."

"Oh I am."

Lister didn't seem worried and stood up.

I couldn't move. I just stared into space as Lister leant in to kiss Rimmer, who had his eyes tightly closed and his nose crinkled up.

He obviously didn't want to be kissed, yet I couldn't help feeling anger, sadness and a distinct longing over his lips touching someone else's and not mine. I saw out of the corner of my eye that Rimmer had his lips sealed, not letting Lister stick his tongue in his mouth and therefore not completing the dare. If only he would just let him in then the kiss wouldn't have to last so long. Finally I saw him part his lips and Lister's tongue slid in straight away. Rimmer then pulled away and put his head in his arms on the table.

I was still frozen until Lister spoke to him.

"Truth or dare, Rimmer?", he said with a hint of apology in his voice. I guessed he could see that he was a bit upset about what just happened.

"Dare."

Lister smiled, but it wasn't a menacing smile, it was a smile that suggested he was apologising, but also, as he glanced to look into Rimmer's eyes, that he was trying to help.

"I dare you... to kiss Dexter."

I stopped breathing. Rimmer was going to kiss me. It was what I wanted. But infront of Cat and Lister, he wouldn't be able to do it. And I didn't think I could either.

Rimmer shuffled closer to me in his chair.

Was he really going to do it?

My heart pounded faster and faster.

I couldn't look at him, or anyone.

Rimmer was still leaning closer.

He was actually going to do it.

I could see Lister's mouth open in curiosity.

Rimmer was quite close now.

My breathing was quick and uneven.  
> <p>


	3. Chapter 3

I could see Lister's mouth open in curiosity.

Rimmer was quite close now.

My breathing was quick and uneven.

"I can't!", Rimmer jumped up from his seat and took a few steps away from the table. "I can't do it!", he cursed to himself.

My heart started to slow down and my breathing became more even, but I could feel sadness weighing down my chest.

"Why not, Rimmer?", Lister asked.

I closed my eyes, waiting for him to respond when I suddenly felt something press against my lips.

My eyes shot open to see Rimmer's tightly closed eyes.

His lips weren't moving, so I started to move mine. After a couple of seconds he moved his too and he formed to my movements. He put his hand on my cheek and I could feel myself heating up. My hand found its way to his neck and stroked it gently, but also keeping him pressed to me, afraid he would pull away.

"Okay, you guys.", said a liverpudlian accent.

We both froze and realised we were still infront of Cat and Lister. We stopped kissing but our hands were still on eachother and our faces were only centimetres away. I could feel his breath on my face as he panted.

"I think that counts as a kiss.", Lister laughed.

I looked into Rimmer's now open eyes, but looked away quickly and let go of his neck and shuffled back into my chair. His hand dropped from my face and he stood up straight.

"Well chaps,", Rimmer tried to sound normal but failing as his voice cracked and went high pitched, "are we still playing?"

"I think I've had enough for one night.", Cat said, getting up and strolling out of the door to have one of his naps.

"Yeah, me too."

I tried to speak, but no sound came out of my moving lips, so I just got up and left, waving my hand once as I exited the room.

I made it sound as if I was walking away, but stayed by the door to listen.  
>"Lister?"<p>

"Yeah?"

"I think I might be in love."

My stomach felt bubbly.

"With who? Dexter?"

"...Maybe."

"I knew it! I told you I saw something!"

"Shush! We just have so much in common- our sense of humour, our love of grammar, our fashion sense. Even though I just met him a couple of weeks ago, I feel like I've known him all of my life."

"Don't give me all that cliche romantic stuff, Rimmer."

"I know it's cliche, but it's true. Don't tell him by the way. It might freak him out if a guy he's known for nearly three weeks says he thinks he loves him. And also, I have no idea if he's gay or not."

"You've just been kissing him."

"But Cat's not gay and he kissed him too."

"But Dex didn't kiss Cat back."

Rimmer spluttered. "I-"

"Why don't you just ask him?"

"Don't be ridiculous. You never tell a guy you like him, it makes you look like an idiot."

"But just ask if he's gay."

"But that's like giving the whole thing away! It's like asking him if he likes young, handsome men and expecting him not to link it to me."

"Just when I thought your arrogance had left you."

"What arrogance? Nevermind. I just don't know what to do. He gives me the most wonderful of feelings and whenever I see him, my heart thumps so loud I can hardly hear."

I ran quietly off to my room after that, but I couldn't sleep with excitement. I couldn't believe it. Not only is he gay, but he does like me! All of those feelings he described I felt as well. And I too found it very strange that I'd only met him a few days ago.

The next several days went by with me being shy (moreso than usual) around everyone. Especially Rimmer.

I could see that it was making him worry slightly, but I didn't know what to do.

Do I pretend like I didn't hear him? I mean, he doesn't know I heard him...

Do I tell him I love him too?

Maybe I should wait for him to do something...

That night I lay in bed, trying to make a decision. How long had I been here now? Nearly 3 weeks? It seemed like to early to know you're in love. But it damn well felt like I was! And that's when my decision was made for me. I was going to tell him. And on that thought, I drifted off.

It was 2 in the morning when the alarm on my watch went off. It was signifying 5 minutes until the star Raxicoricofallopatorius145 imploded and according to our research, give off purple rays of light. This was a phenomenon I wasn't going to miss. And judging by the coordinates of this ship, it should be see from the pilot deck's window.

I pulled my trousers back on and tip-toed to Rimmer's room, I'm sure he would be interested as well.

When I got there, Lister was snoring, so I wasn't really worried about waking him up.

I tapped Rimmer on the shoulder and whispered, "Rimmer. Rimmer, wake up!"

"Hmm? What?"

"G-get up."

"Hrrr, why?"

"There's a star about to implode in... 3 minutes."

He shot bolt upright, "The Raxicoricofallopatorius145?"

"Yes." I felt that feeling in my stomach when he knew that and almost choked.  
>He jumped out of his bed and pulled on his trousers.<p>

We hurried along the corridors to the top deck and sat in the piloting seats.  
>I looked at my watch, "It should be l-less than 1 minute now."<p>

"I can't believe I've found someone else who knows about this. I've been going on for weeks about how this has been meant to happen and it's a once in a lifetime phenomenon, and no one seemed to care."

"Back home, everyone in my sector were almost w-wetting themselves with antici...pation."

"I wish I could be surrounded by intellectuals."

"It can get a bit t-tedious when you've discussed fractal geometry for the thirtieth time, no matter how b-brilliant it is."

"I suppose, but I think I'd prefer it to discussing the spiciest curry for the thirtieth time."

"Ah... yeah I think I would prefer that too."

We laughed.

"Oh look!" I pointed out the window.

"That is amazing!"

We stared in awe at the magnificent sight before us. The star had turned an orange colour, then red, then purple and it looked like it was leaking purple dye into space. The purple then changed from the calm waves of dye to angry, thrashing tentacles.

"This is astounding!" We both said at the same time.

We looked at eachother and then turned away, embarrassed. I then looked back at him to see if he was looking at me, and when I saw he was, I couldn't stop staring. I saw a flash of light out of the corner of my eye and we both turned back to the star to see that it had turned to a very light lilac colour.

I took the chance while he was distracted and got up out of my chair to crouch by his side and kiss his cheek.

He got a fright and turned to look at me quickly, his cheeks a dark shade of red.

"I'm s-s-sorry..."

"No, no. It's fine."

"I heard you talking to Lister after that night of truth or dare..."

"You... did?"

"Yes. And... I like you t-too. A lot."

"Well... I... I..."

I pressed my lips to his so he didn't have to finish that sentence he was obviously struggling with. I pulled away from him.

"Wow." he said.

I chuckled and stood up infront of where he was sitting and straddled him on the chair.

"This is... unbelievable." He smiled at me.

"Good unbelievable?"

"No. Amazing unbelievable."

I smiled back and leant in for another kiss, this time he parted his lips so mine could form around them, and I tangled my fingers in his hair. He put his arms around my waist and kissed me harder, I slid my tongue into his mouth and he pulled my shirt up at the back and stroked his hands across my skin.  
>I stopped to take my glasses off but he stopped me.<p>

"I like your glasses."

I smiled even more and kissed him again.

We kissed for a while longer, he still caressing my back and me still fondling his hair.

I felt something hard underneath me and broke the kiss and looked at the bulge and then at him.

"Do you want to go to the n-next step, or is it too fast for you?"

"I... I want to."

"Sure?"

"Positive. We're both grown men, I think we can handle it.", he released a small chuckle.

I nodded once and kissed him again, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it onto the floor. I broke the kiss and started to kiss his neck. He unbuttoned my shirt and threw it to where his lay and I sucked his nipples gently. He tried hard to keep his moans inside, but every few seconds he let one slip. I moved down his torso, leaving a trail of kisses and unfastened his belt and pulled his trousers down.

"I've never been with a guy before.", he whispered, his voice shaky.

I smiled nervously, "Neither have I."

I got up off his lap and knelt on the floor. He grabbed the sides of the chair when I stroked the bulge through his boxers and pulled them down, tossing them and his trousers onto the pile of clothes forming in the middle of the room. I looked up at him and moved my hand up and down his penis, making him tense and moan more. After it was fully erect, I licked the tip and put it in my mouth, moving my head up and down slowly. He let go of the chair and grabbed my hair, his breathing quickening. I increased my pace and moved my tongue around it.

"Dex-ter. I'm. Going. To. Ah!"

I swallowed him down my throat, "Come?"

"Yes.", he laughed. "What about you?", he said, looking down at where my trousers were hiding a bulge.

"You don't have to if you don't feel c-comfortable."

"But... I want to though."

"Sure?"

"Positive."

He got up off of the chair and knelt down beside me, pulling me into a kiss and then lowering me down onto my back. He did what I did and kissed my neck and made a trail of saliva down my torso. He undid my belt and pulled down my trousers and boxers together. He licked the tip and used his hand to stroke the bottom of my penis, making me gasp and grab his hair. His hands moved to caress my thighs and his mouth moved faster and faster up and down.

"Rimmer!", I came in his mouth. He looked uncertain. "You can spit if you w-want, you know." I chuckled.

He tried to speak, but he couldn't properly, "Bu ou di-n't."

"I know, but that d-doesn't mean you have to." I sat up so I was facing him.

He thought for a few seconds and then swallowed.

"Well?"

"I say, it wasn't bad at all!"

"You're too adorable."

"Oh! I just remembered. The day I met you, when I said I liked your stutter and then something happened and I said 'nothing'. Well what I was going to say was your stutter is adorable or cute or something, but of course then I didn't know if you were gay or anything."

"And I still like your nose." I leant over and kissed it.

"Blast, I can't kiss your stutter. I, err... like your lips."

I smiled and kissed him.

I lay back down and he lay his head on my chest.

"I err... I love you, Pippin."

"I love you too, Rimsy.", I stroked his hair, "We should pr-probably have a shower, or at least go to sleep s-somewhere comfortable."

"I agree." He seemed reluctant to get off me, but he finally did and passed me my clothes.

"I wouldn't bother putting them on."

"But what if someone sees us?"

"Who's going to be awake at n-nearly 3 in the morning?"

"Us."

"Exactly."

"We should use the shower on the deck below the bedrooms so they can't hear us."

We put our clothes in my room and walked quietly down the stairs.

"Who's going in first?"

"Both of us."

"Ah. I see." He smirked and leant down to kiss me.

We entered the shower and stood for a couple of minutes in eachother's arms just warming up. I then got the soap and rubbed it all over him, even places that made him tense up, then he did the same to me. We stood for a bit more, just letting the warm water run down our intertwined bodies.

"I'm tired." I rested my head on his shoulder. He turned the shower off and dried me then himself with a towel.

We walked back up to my room and got in the bed together. It was cold, like Lister had said it would be, so the extra body heat was welcome. I went to sleep curled up with his arms around me.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke at the sound of beeping and turned my watch alarm off. But then I frantically looked around when beeping continued. That wasn't the sound my watch made. I then became suddenly aware of the arm draped over my torso and memories of the night before rushed into my head. I shuffled out of bed and searched for the thing that was making the beeping. After a minute or so of getting increasingly annoyed, I found Rimmer's watch and turned the alarm off. I actually couldn't believe he had slept through that, so I had to go wake him up.

"Rimsy?"

"Hmm?"

"Your alarm went off."

"Oh..."

"Do you not w-want to get up?"

"Yeah... in a minute."

"Are we going to tell the others about us?"

"Not yet. I'll have to get back to my room before Lister wakes up, but that won't be for another 2 hours. It is 7 now, isn't it?"

"Well... nearly 5 past. It took a while to f-find your watch. How come you didn't wake up?"

"I don't know. I'm usually up as soon as it goes off. It's either that we were up until 3 and I didn't get enough sleep, or that was the best night's sleep I've ever had."

"I hope it's the s-second one.", I got back into bed with him and he cuddled into my chest. I held him to me and gently stroked his back and rested my head on his. "I love you so much, Arnold Rimmer." I whispered, then dosed off again.

I woke again at the sudden movement behind me.

"It's nearly half 8!", Rimmer said in a rather panicked voice.

"Will Lister be awake?"

"Maybe. There's a good possibility but sometimes he sleeps until 9."

I laughed at him falling over while trying to pull his trousers up. "Okay. But I don't think I can hide this for l-long."

"It doesn't need to be that long, just until I'm ready to tell them. Okay, I love you. Bye!", he ran out the door.

"Bye." I could hear him sprinting across the deck and then all sound completely stopped when he got close to where Lister might still be asleep.

The next time I saw him was at breakfast at 10.

"Lister was thankfully still asleep."

"Ah good."

He sat opposite me, next to Cat, with me next to Lister. I touched my shoes to his, and he looked up from his food to smile at me. It soon turned into a silent battle of kicking eachother's feet and trying to "win" the battle by pinning the other's feet down. We stopped immediately when Rimmer's foot hit Lister's and he looked at us suspiciously.

We spent that day on the third floor at the giant window, looking out at the millions of stars, sitting next to eachother with our backs against a wall.

"Dexter?"

"Yes?"

"Why haven't you even tried to figure out what's wrong with your teleportation device yet?"

"I err... haven't had the time."

"Don't lie, Dex. You've had plenty of time."

"Fine. It's just because... I don't really want to go back. Even though I love what I do and it's different every day, it still managed to get tedious. And then I came here and met you," I rubbed his thigh affectionately, "so why would I want to leave now?"

He put his hand on top of mine and squeezed gently.

"I don't want to be the reason you never go home."

"What if I make this my home? I love being with you, Rimmer. I'm not giving you up. Unless of course you don't want me, then I will start work on it and leave you alone, cause let's face it, you will get sick of me."

Rimmer turned my face up to look me in the eyes.

"Dexter Peregrin Took. I will never, do you hear me? Never. Get sick of you."

I smiled but my eyes still looked sad. He kissed me gently.

"It's getting late, we better get going."

He stood up and offered his hand. I took it and pulled myself up, keeping ahold of his hand as we walked, intertwining our fingers.

No one wanted to play any games that night, so everyone went straight to bed.

At half past midnight I heard a light knock on my door and footsteps approaching me. I sprang up, ready to attack the intruder when they gasped in pain.

"Rimmer?"

I turned the lights on and couldn't help but laugh at the hopping, cursing man infront of me. I looked around for the cause and saw my belt lying on the floor with the buckle prominent.

I got up and helped him sit on the bed.

"Come on, it couldn't have hurt that much!"

"Oh believe me, when you're tired things hurt a lot more."

"I thought it was the other way around. If you're tired it hurts less."

I tugged at him and he lay down. I pulled his hands away from his foot and replaced them with my own. Turning the lights off, I massaged his feet, hearing the occasional fast intake of breath.

After an amount of time I hadn't bothered to check, I crawled up next to Rimmer and he snuggled into my side, one of his legs draped over mine. I presumed he was half asleep already because a fully awake Rimmer would find it a tad awkward to do that. But I didn't complain. Only smiled and stroked his hair until I too fell asleep, comforted by the warmth coming from his body.

I again woke to the sound of two watches beeping but had less trouble in locating them this time. Rimmer had stirred a bit when I leapt off the bed, but turned over and buried himself in the covers, murmering something incoherent about having porridge for breakfast. I stood watching him for a couple of minutes before he turned to lie on his back, still sleeping. Smiling to myself, I leaned over on the bed and started to kiss down his jaw and neck. He finally woke up having got a fright from the kiss I placed on his nipple.

"What time is it?", he asked after yawning.

"Nearly five past seven again."

"I didn't wake up when the alarm went again?"

"No."

"That's really strange. I've woke at the same time for the past... however many years."

"I'm sorry for disrupting your schedule.", I said then placed a soft kiss on his lips.

He smiled, "I don't mind.". He pulled me down for another kiss.

That day for breakfast, he sat on the seat next to mine and Cat and Lister sat opposite us, with Kryten making the breakfast.

I felt his hand touch mine and I pulled away quickly, not wanting to give away anything, but he looked down at me and seemed to say it was alright, so I put my hand back down and held his under the table, his thumb stroking mine.

I smiled, but stopped when Lister looked at me.

Rimmer had noticed this and started to blush.

Lister eyed him suspiciously and Rimmer let go of my hand. It was just in time really as breakfast arrived at that moment.

"Here you are, sirs."

"Thanks, Kryten.", I smiled.

"You are very welcome, Dr Took, sir."  
>We ate our breakfasts in silence, but Lister was still looking at Rimmer and I every so often. I decided to break the silence.<p>

"So, have there been any f-female crew members while you've been stuck here?"

"One time this girl Kochanski came.", Lister looked like he was remembering something sad, so I didn't persist.

"Why Dex? You wanting a girl around here you can mess around with?, Cat said, in a very serious tone.

I choked on my food so Rimmer hit my back to stop it.

"Thanks, Rims- err Rimmer.", I weezed.

He nodded a 'you're welcome'.

"And no, Cat. I do not want a g-girl here to 'mess around with'."

"Why? Are you gay or something?"

"Well... yes. Yes I am."

Cat stopped chewing, "Oh..."

"Is there a problem with that?", Rimmer asked.

"No, of course there's no problem. Why should there be?"

"Well there shouldn't be."

"Well there ain't."

"Good."

"Good."

"Okay guys, it doesn't matter."

"No it does, Pippin. I won't stand for any homophobia on this ship."

Cat stood up, "There AIN'T!"

Lister seemed confused, "What did you just call him?"

"He called me Pippin. It's short for m-my m-middle name, Peregrin. Only people who are-", I stopped, because if I said it, it would give us away. I looked at Rimmer. He gave me a slight nod that told me to say it. "Only people who are... c-c-close to me, call me that."

I went a dark shade of red and Rimmer grabbed my hand under the table.

"But how are you close to Rimmer? You only met him a few weeks ago.", Cat sat back down.

There was an awkward silence where my throat went dry and was unable to speak.

"Dexter and I are seeing eachother."

I looked at him and smiled, he smiled back.

"Dude Rimmer! Good on you, man! Did you pluck up the courage to ask if he was gay?"

"No, Lister. He kissed me because he heard me telling you that I thought I loved him."

"Oh I see. Still, man, I'm happy for you! And you too, Dex. Though I don't know what you see in him.", he laughed.

"Neither do I.", I said and laughed.

Rimmer looked at me and was about to protest, but I kissed him before he could say anything. I put my free hand on his cheek and I felt it heat up. I broke the kiss and smiled, resting my forehead on his, feeling his uneven and excited breath on my face.

"Okay,", Lister was still smiling, "I'll go wash up."

Rimmer's eyes shot open. "You? Washing up?"

"I know it's a rare sight, but you always do it, and I can see you're a bit busy."

"Thanks, Listy."

I chuckled, "Listy?"

"I rarely call him it when I'm in a good mood. And sometimes not even then."

I stood up and tugged on his hand and he willingly followed me to my room.

"I don't want to know what they're going to do.", Cat said.

**AN: Soo... hopefully this wasn't too much of a cliffhanger for you, since it should be pretty obvious "what they're going to do". (I swear in everything I write I find excuses for smutty lemons... And ever since I developed my slash-ridden mind and found Lister/Rimmer fics, I've been wanting to somehow get in the link between Rimmer's name and well... you know... rimming...) XD ****But Chapter 5 might take a bit longer because I'm going back to school on Tuesday, and I'm in GCSE year and the exams start in about 2 weeks which means constant revision. Kill me. Please. And since you probably do what I do and assume all slash writers are female- Guess what? I'm a guy! Just thought I'd put that out there ^_^**

**~Dexter**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Gah! I'm back! Finally...  
>Anyway, sorry it took me so long. I confess I finished my exams two weeks ago, so I blame writer's block :D Also, this is a really short chapter, but it has more DexterRimmer in it and I'm posting Chapter 6 really soon! *puppy dog eyes***

_I stood up and tugged on his hand and he willingly followed me to my room._

_"I don't want to know what they're going to do.", Cat said._

I closed the door and put my arms around his neck, kissing him gently. We were both still red-faced from the breakfast situation and this was making us blush even more.

He pushed me against the wall and kissed me harder, but still passionately. I put my hands on his lower back and he put his on my neck, keeping me pressed to him.

My hands moved to his front, where I unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the floor. He then unbuttoned my shirt and dropped it aside. I pushed off the wall and, without breaking the kiss, guided him backwards until he fell down onto the bed. I pinned his hands above his head while he lay panting and I sucked his neck.

"Dexy~"

I moaned into his neck and made a trail of kisses along his jaw before reaching his mouth and kissing him again. I let his arms go free and he sat up then rolled over so he was now straddling me. Well this was different, he never took control. I decided I liked it.

He leant down into a kiss, undid my belt and pulled my trousers down. I kicked them off my ankles onto the floor and thrust up onto him. He grinded back down on me, our crotches rubbing together. I then undid his belt and he took off his trousers and underwear, as well as my own and kissed all over my chest. He crawled down my body until he could lick the tip of my penis. I grabbed onto the bed sheets when he put his mouth over it and swirled his tongue around.

I managed to sit up and lift his head up by his chin.

"You're doing all the w-work."

I pushed him onto his back and began to suck him, while moving my hand on my own.

"Dex. I can't. Hold it. Much... longer."

"Me neither."

I came and moaned loudly but continued to suck Rimmer, determined to make him come too. A few seconds passed and he came in my mouth. I held myself up for a little longer then fell onto his chest, my eyes drooping.

"I love you, Pippin.", he wrapped his arms around me.

I fell asleep.

I woke with a happy feeling as I felt the warmth from Rimmer's body still beneath me.

"What t-time is it?"

"Nearly half six."

"In the evening?"

"Yes."

"We missed lunch. Why didn't you go and have lunch?"

"I didn't want to wake you."

I shook my head at this thought but couldn't help but smile.

"That and the fact that I was still asleep until about twenty minutes ago. You're cute when you sleep.", he stroked my hair.

"How am I cute?"

"For one, your nose twitches every so often, and two, you stutter more."

"I was talking?"

"Oh yes.", he smirked.

"What did I say?"

"'R-R-R-R-Rims-s-s-sy'", he imitated while pulling a strained looking face.

I buried my head into his chest, "Oh no.", I blushed.

"Oh yes.", he laughed.

We got up and slowly made our way to the kitchen, hand in hand.

"So you're finally up, are you? What you guys been doing?", Lister raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing, Lister.", Rimmer said, shaking his head and glancing down at me, blushing.

"Yeah right."

I blushed and smiled at Lister, who winked at me.

I could really see myself staying here for a long time.

**AN: Back again! I was just wondering who you would prefer as top and bottom? If the very few people who will read this care...**

**I've already wrote the sex scene but I'm still undecided on whether I should switch them around :/**

**I will update Friday evening/early hours of Saturday morning UK time, and if I haven't got a suggestion by then, then I'll choose ^_^**

**Dex... VANISH! *runs away while hiding behind my cape***


End file.
